If dogs could speak...

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Dear pervert readers
I have a few loyal readers of my blog, most of whom share a common interest in dogs, Alaska or Japan, and not always in that order. My site meter tells me that I get about 20 visits per day during the week, and 50-80 on the weekend when people have more time to waste reading frivolous stuff.

But there were at least three distinct occasions when the meter took sudden huge jumps, sometimes not just on the days of the postings, but for a whole week afterwards. The first time was back in April when I discussed an ingenious machine invented by a university professor in Singapore that allows you to "fondle the chicken." Not exactly the way you might imagine, but it was a subject that seemed to tickle the prurient curiosity of my audience. I was so proud that I collected over a hundred visits that day. It was like scoring a touchdown in blog competition.

It took a few months for a repeat. The next time was in July, and the story was about a Seattle man who died while having sex with a horse. That was a true story published in the Seattle Times, but for quite a while, I gained a large following from people who found my site by googling the terms "death horse sex." Why anyone would search for that topic is beyond me, and I had to delete a few comments from people who were more familiar with horse sex than anyone needed to be, but it was a surprisingly effective way to draw attention to the blog. I had more hits in one day than Michael Jackson did in the last decade.

The most recent uptick occurred this morning. On Sunday I wrote about a new nutritional product called Whiff designed to eliminate the smell of human waste, and the story was picked up today by a Japan-oriented site called Japundit. There is really nothing Japanese about Whiff, but it fits the slightly offbeat counter-culture style of Japundit. All day today I was getting hits for the Whiff story, about half of them from probably stunned Japanese visitors. I'd hate to make them think that Americans have nothing more to worry about than poop stink. Of course we are bothered by other things too, such as the Iraq war, the Katrina hurricane, soaring gas prices and killer horse sex.

And so it is that I have finally reached this inescapable conclusion: There are a lot of sick people out there. And many of them read my blog.

Tomorrow: Sex horse sex dog chicken sex poop Michael sex sex fondle
- posted by Woofwoof @ 11:32 PM

Comments:

Hey I read your blog.

Psst you wanna?

# posted by

Anonymous : 07 October, 2005 00:05

Hi,

The reason Whiff! clicked with JAPUNDIT readers is that there are are alot of products sold in Japan that are along the same line - anti-smell sprays in pocket containers, devices that output background noise intended to mask toilet sounds, etc.

Anyway, thanks for a great story!

JP
www.japundit.com

# posted by

Anonymous : 07 October, 2005 21:53

JP,
Thanks for the visit. I've seen the perfume bottles that seem to be in every Japanese car, but haven't heard of the sound emitters yet. Toilet business in Japan seems to have come a long way since the hole-in-the-floor days.

# posted by

Woofwoof : 08 October, 2005 09:18

Heh heh. You said "chicken." Heh.

# posted by

John : 08 October, 2005 12:03

Fondling the chicken? Sex with horses? I was filled with anticipation.

# posted by

Anonymous : 08 October, 2005 15:13

Never mix Michael with sex. Too disgusting. Now "Michael" and "fondle" could go together.

# posted by

Anonymous : 08 October, 2005 17:18

John,
You have a sick mind.

Connecticut,
So do you.

Anonymous,
Just trying to increase my readership. I want to be the Fox network of blogdom.

# posted by

Woofwoof : 08 October, 2005 21:04

** Raise hand **

# posted by

Anonymous : 09 October, 2005 17:38

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