If dogs could speak...

Sunday, October 02, 2005

News you can use
Some people obviously believe that "their sh.t don't stink" (here is a case in point), but for the rest of us, there is finally hope. A new product called Whiff and sold on the internet claims to be able to dramatically reduce or eliminate the smell of poop itself. This is not a joke or scam, they say, unlike other, ahem, enhancements often advertised on the web.

You take it as a nutritional supplement, two capsules a day. The ingredients are all natural: First there is a sugar extract from Jerusalem Artichoke, a tuberous root related to the sunflower grown in northern parts of the United States and used by Native Americans for centuries as a staple food. Then comes chlorophyl from alfalfa, a nutritious grass similar to bean sprouts. And finally they add desert Yucca, a succulent cactus also used extensively by Native Americans. The key here is finding through years of exhaustive research and testing the optimal levels of the ingredients to make Whiff effective as a poop smell terminator.

So no longer do you have to mask bathroom odors with deodorizers or remove them with ventilating fans, but you can attack the actual source of the odor -- the poop itself. The people at Whiff believe that this should be as logical as brushing your teeth or using underarm deodorant to avoid offending other people with bad breath or body odor. "Think globally, act locally," and together we can wipe out smelly poop, they urge.

Now there are the usual legal disclaimers and fine print as you would expect with any health or pharmaceutical product. First the claims have not been evaluated by the FDA (but they don't know crap anyway). Consult your physician (poor doctor, years of medical training down the toilet). Also understand that Whiff is not something you take at the last minute, for example just before a date or before boarding a long flight. You must take Whiff daily for about two weeks before its full effect kicks in, and you have to keep taking it daily for it to continue to work. Because Whiff promotes the growth of good bacteria in the intestinal system, you may feel gas and bloating, and experience significant flatulence and diarrhea during the first few weeks, but these effects should taper off and eventually disappear. Finally, the chlorophyl in Whiff turns your poop a distinct and rich green color. But don't worry, green is good.

So there you have it. People, if you are shunned by friends and co-workers, ask yourself why and take action. Could it be that your Sunday blog stinks, or your poop stinks even worse? For the slight inconvenience of a few more farts and deep green sh.t, and just 50 cents a day (less than half the price of a cup of coffee), you can do the world and yourself a huge favor, and bring back your social life. Let's all take a Whiff! Please, take a Whiff!
- posted by Woofwoof @ 6:42 AM

Comments:

Disgusting, but too funny. I too was skeptical until I checked out their web site. Thanks for a good laugh. You have nothing to worry: Your Sunday blog is great.

# posted by

Anonymous : 02 October, 2005 09:15

Incredible! Still not obvious to me how it works. All you do is take a pill, and your shit stops smelling?

# posted by

Anonymous : 02 October, 2005 11:15

Where did you find this stuff?

# posted by

Anonymous : 02 October, 2005 11:49

very funny, thanks for the b-day wishes.

# posted by

Ms.M : 02 October, 2005 12:43

Ahhh, Whiff. NOT going to try it out on the baby . . . no.

# posted by

John : 02 October, 2005 13:46

Wazz up Great Blog

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# posted by

Cigamybab : 02 October, 2005 14:25

Anonymous,
I think it works by neutralizing sulfur compounds in the poop. I think that's what gives it the bad smell.

Cindy,
A lot of research. All that for my readers.

John,
Very tempting, isn't it?

Cigamybab,
Not sure what the top picture is about, but thanks.

# posted by

Woofwoof : 02 October, 2005 21:03

For many Alaskans, it's not an issue. No one *expects* the outhouse to smell good!

# posted by

Anonymous : 03 October, 2005 08:46

Hey, great blog. Especially the dog stuff! Check out mine at www.keeponsledding.blogspot.com if you're interested in dogs and mushing and the Great White North.

# posted by

dogsled_stacie : 06 October, 2005 11:48

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