Sunday, July 30, 2006
Zoom zoom zoomThose lucky Alaskans! They have so much oil money that instead of paying tax to the state, they get an annual loot-sharing, I mean, "dividend" check back from the state. Just for living there. On top of that, they sweet-talked the federal government into giving them another tanker-load of money to build a bridge to nowhere. When they decided later not to build it, they were told to just keep the money - so basically it's money to build no bridge to nowhere.
And they get tons of snow in the winter, meters and meters of dog-sledding quality, cold and fluffy snow, a true Husky paradise. And in the summer while the rest of the country was broiling in high heat, they bragged about their 79F weather, ideal for oil-drilling, tree chopping and moose hunting, all the fun things that Alaskans get to do. The last time we saw anything near 79 degrees here in California, I think it was in Celsius or deciliters or something weird like that.
The Alaskans just struck it rich again. Last Monday a huge cargo ship suddenly tipped over to almost horizontal, about 240 miles off the coast of Alaska. The Cougar Ace was perhaps carrying goods from Far East sweatshops to gadget-starved Americans, things like Floo-Bees and iPods, but onboard were also over 4,800 spanking new Mazda vehicles fresh off the paint shop. 30% were CX-7 SUVs, and the rest were mostly Mazda3 hatchbacks. The CX-7 is a new model for 2007, getting excellent early reviews. One insurance firm estimated the automobile value alone was $72 million, give or take a few front-disc brakes, airbags and leather seats. Even that seems conservative, but you know how these insurance companies always try to low-ball you and raise the deductible.
Initial analysis suggests that the massive ship was thrown sideways when the ballast tank was adjusted incorrectly in the open seas. It was also possible that the few remaining whales that the Japanese haven't caught and eaten yet got together and used their blowholes to push the ship over to its side, but that is still unconfirmed. By Friday, the vessel had drifted from international waters into US territory, only 150 miles south of the Aleutian Islands, but it stayed afloat at an 80 degree angle. By next week, some of the cars will probably wash ashore, perhaps a bit wet and salty, with a few squid and shrimp stuck to their mufflers, but nothing that a good car wash cannot fix. And of course, since the oil is right there, all you have to do is to stick a pipe into the ground and pump some of that luscious black gold out, and in no time you can have a new SUV parked in front of the log cabin.
That's it. I'm packing and moving up North with the Huskies. Snow, moose, oil and imaginary bridge, and now with zoom zoom zoom. How can I resist?
- posted by Woofwoof @ 8:48 AM
Comments:
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Hey you are back! I was worried for a while. What did you do? Too bad with the Mazdas. I thought they were made in the U.S. now.
# posted by 
: 30 July, 2006 10:37
: 30 July, 2006 10:37
Wow, just wow! How can a ship lay on its side like that and not sink?
# posted by : 30 July, 2006 15:32
: 30 July, 2006 15:32
How did you know exactly what I was thinking? My new car is a sea-foam green, but it's got a bit of rust color in there, too.
When we hauled it up it was full of Alaskan king crabs, so it provided a nice dinner, too.
By the way . . . 58F out right now.
When we hauled it up it was full of Alaskan king crabs, so it provided a nice dinner, too.
By the way . . . 58F out right now.
I hear West Virginia got lots of money for their state and I ahve to say that driving through those mountains on my vacation was spectacular. Anyway, I'm a Florida dog, so I know all about heat-I know I long for the cool breezes that my Canadian ancestors sniffed.
HanktheDog
HanktheDog
Woof-Woof, if I didn't not know you were a Huskie, I would think you were a wolf. You are very handsome.
Connecticut,
It's summer and I tried to get away from the computer and blog for a little bit. I am sure that some Mazdas are built in Japan, especially the new CX-7. They are starting to build them in Alaska though.
Jmass,
My guess is that some of the compartments are sealed and act like air pockets to keep the ship afloat. Still an amazing sight.
John,
You lucky dog! Car and a free dinner too? The heat wave has finally lifted off California. We can now breathe again without burning our lungs.
Hank,
West Virginia has a sugar daddy senator, Robert Byrd. He knows how to bring home the bacon, and the pork too.
Copper,
Awww, thank you. We are all descendants of the wolf. It's just that some of us have evolved less. You have a nice blog.
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It's summer and I tried to get away from the computer and blog for a little bit. I am sure that some Mazdas are built in Japan, especially the new CX-7. They are starting to build them in Alaska though.
Jmass,
My guess is that some of the compartments are sealed and act like air pockets to keep the ship afloat. Still an amazing sight.
John,
You lucky dog! Car and a free dinner too? The heat wave has finally lifted off California. We can now breathe again without burning our lungs.
Hank,
West Virginia has a sugar daddy senator, Robert Byrd. He knows how to bring home the bacon, and the pork too.
Copper,
Awww, thank you. We are all descendants of the wolf. It's just that some of us have evolved less. You have a nice blog.
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