Saturday, July 08, 2006
You repel meIt is summer, the season of baseball, bikinis, outdoor barbeque and of course mosquitoes. We are not in Alaska and the summer swarms here are usually called "Canadian tourists" or "Mexican guest workers," but we still have more than our share of flying pests. So what is a Nile-virus-fearing Californian to do?
Well, you can apply some of that DEET bug repellent on you, but this may be a case where the cure is worse than the disease. If you read the warning label on the bottle, it seems that you need to exercise more caution than you would need bathing yourself in concentrated DDT. Don't drink, don't smell, don't spray near eyes or mouth, keep at least 30 feet away. No thanks, I'll just take my chance with Lyme disease. Or you can get one of those electric bug zappers, as long as you don't mind the constant buzz and zap-zap-zap sound. And seeing your picnic guests look like pale bluish zombies from Night of the Living Dead (the original George Romero version, of course). For some people that might be an improvement but then you can't tell them that or you would be joining them. Reality does really suck sometimes.
But there is good news. Scientists at Aberdeen University in Scotland are developing a mosquito repellent using chemicals in human body odor that the insects do not like. They noticed that certain people tend not to get bitten by mosquitoes, and have isolated the chemicals in those people that act to drive mosquitoes away. They hope to formulate a synthetic version in about two years, so potent that all you need is to put a small drop on your clothing without applying it directly to your skin. They didn't say, but the chemicals probably smell like armpit odor, and one side effect of the "eau de human" is that you will be shunned not only by mosquitoes but also by everyone else. That may not matter much to Alaskans who are in most need of bug repellents but who are an anti-social, anti-environment breed anyway. File your complaint here.
Around this house we use a more nature-friendly method to eradicate mosquitoes, and it is called Siberian huskies. They have lightning-quick reflexes and lethal bites. Usually a husky sitting outside waiting to be petted (that's what people think), or waiting to steal a hamburger or hot dog from an unsuspecting kid (that's the real answer) can catch and kill with his mouth any insects that happen to fly by. On a busy warm day, that can be a mosquito a minute, better than any electric bug zapper I have seen. The most effective missile shield defense ever invented, and a lot cheaper too.
- posted by Woofwoof @ 10:25 AM
Comments:
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I wouldn't mind if they come up with a human repellent. The in-law antidote. I'll take all their inventory.
# posted by 
: 09 July, 2006 10:48
: 09 July, 2006 10:48
Connecticut,
A lumpy bed, two Huskies in the house, that will drive them away in a hurry.
John,
You've been duped. Inclined merely to wag? Look goofy? Sounds like a cat to me.
Christine,
Do you sell Floo-Bees too?
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A lumpy bed, two Huskies in the house, that will drive them away in a hurry.
John,
You've been duped. Inclined merely to wag? Look goofy? Sounds like a cat to me.
Christine,
Do you sell Floo-Bees too?
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