If dogs could speak...

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Pardon me, do you speak English?
Surely you remember the cartoon where Bugs Bunny used his long ears to dig a hole through the center of the Earth, and came out on the other side in the middle of China. Or was that Daffy Duck using his beak and surfacing in Japan for a bowl of duck ramen. But now there is a web site, digholes, that shows that it was more likely that they would have ended up somewhere in the ocean between Africa and Australia. Even if they took a left turn at Albuquerque. And who said you cannot learn anything from the web.

Then there is Henry Mora in Montclair, California, who didn't believe that and wanted to find out for himself. Actually, his story is that he bought himself a $600 high-power metal detector and it beeped like crazy in the front yard of his house. So he thought there was gold under the lawn and decided to dig for it. After all, the eBay company that was advertising the contraption promised that it was perfect to search for "treasure chests, coin caches and hoards of gold." Mora was lucky he didn't hit the iron sewer pipe, but two weeks later, he had a hole 60 feet deep and big enough for ten people. And the pile of dirt grew to almost as massive as his entire house.

And still there was no gold. This called for firm measures. So Mora hired two helpers who set up an elaborate system to go even deeper. They used ropes, pulleys and buckets to move the dirt, and cut several shelves into the hole like staircases so they could get in and out easily. Throughout this "whole" time, the detector continued to beep louder and louder. And the helpers told him that they had done this before in Mexico and found huge treasures, and they could be just inches from striking it rich. Kinda like standing in front of the slot machine in Las Vegas. Come on, just one pull, one more shovel, this could be the big one.

Then a nosy neighbor looked in and called the city. Montclair, which is about an hour from Los Angeles, must be a peaceful city with nothing for the government to do, so police, city inspectors and firemen all came over at once. They promptly decided that the job site was unsafe and immediately stopped the treasure hunt. They said that the cave was too unstable and in danger of collapse and swallowing the men inside, and ordered Mora to fill it back in. Mora has said that he will comply, but he was reluctant and still thinking about new ways to find his gold.

This is a secret so don't tell anybody, but the dogs here have decided to form a partnership with Mora, called Hidden Treasure Mining Company. No buckets, no pulleys, no ropes. Just an army of Siberian Huskies and their furred paws, well trained in excavation technology, that will tunnel deep under the house and hide the dirt so well that no one will ever know. At a minimum, there's got to be a few bones buried somewhere. Like that country song goes, we are going to find "all the gold in California," and with a little extra husky power and tenacity, all the gold in China, India and Japan too.
- posted by Woofwoof @ 6:09 AM

Comments:

Great story. I'll bookmark your blog.

# posted by

Anonymous : 17 June, 2006 13:35

We've had our share of strange neighbors, including one who painted his windows a blue-green aqua color. But at least nobody who digs 60 foot holes in the yard.

# posted by

Anonymous : 18 June, 2006 10:37

Outstanding bit of insanity. I think he should apply to work at FEMA. At least then they'd get something done, however pointless.

"Hurricane? Let's dig a big hole for gold."

"Terrorist attack? Let's dig a big hole for gold."

# posted by

John : 18 June, 2006 19:51

If husky holes were full of gold, boy would we be rich!

# posted by

H.A. Turbofire, Sibertarian : 19 June, 2006 14:47

Anonymous,
Thank you. Don't be strangers.

Connecticut,
Here the dogs take care of the digging. And yes they are strange.

John,
But FEMA couldn't find a shovel with both hands and a flashlight. Something like that.

Turbo,
We are not there yet, but that's why we have to keep looking.

# posted by

Woofwoof : 24 June, 2006 08:16

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