If dogs could speak...

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Are we floating yet?
I wrote yesterday about the persistent rain we've had in California during March and even now going into April. Californians are thoroughly confused, and that goes well beyond their legendary inability to drive on wet roads. There is probably not a single umbrella or raincoat anywhere in the state. Life here normally comes to a standstill when it rains. People stay home waiting for it to end -- usually in the next two minutes, but this time it hasn't stopped in the last two months. And since houses in this area tend to be small with even smaller yards, people are just going crazy with adults, kids and beasts all crammed into tiny spaces. What's a sun worshipper to do?

A Dutchman, Johan Huibers, seems to have figured it out. He is building a replica of Noah's Ark, and plans to set sail from his home near Amsterdam in September and navigate the canals of the Netherlands. So far he has used 1200 trees and spent over a million dollars on the structure which is about the length of a football field, supposedly one fifth the size of the original (which was built large enough for cyclops and gargantuans). Huibers is doing that, he says, to renew interest in Christianity and teach young children about the Bible. The ark will be part religious monument, part floating zoo.

He said that the idea came to him in a nightmare that Holland was flooded. Just as Noah built an ark to save creatures of the world, Huibers plans to house 300 farmyard animals on his boat, including horses, lambs, rabbits and chicken, most of them baby animals to save space. No huskies though. He is probably justified in his fear that the dogs will exercise their natural superiority and dominate (through eating) the other animals, and leave him with a petting zoo full of huskies -- nothing wrong with that, but their howl might keep him and the Mrs. up at night. Like most wives, she was already thinking that her husband's ark has a few screws loose and has told him to go "dig wells in Ethiopia." That must be the Dutch equivalent of "pounding sand" or "flying a kite," except that in this case a well will just produce even more water than we know what to do with.

At any rate, I agree with Huibers. The rainy situation calls for firm action. I am on my way to Home Depot for more lumber and duct tape, and we set sail tonight. Are you with me (or are you with the weather terrorists)?
- posted by Woofwoof @ 6:45 AM

Comments:

Why no tigers and lions and giraffes and elephants also? And no cats?

# posted by

Anonymous : 02 April, 2006 10:18

We are outside Seattle. If we waited inside until the rain stops, we would be green and moldy and never get anything done....

# posted by

Anonymous : 02 April, 2006 14:26

Connecticut,
I don't know about the lions and tigers, and giraffes and elephants. Maybe they poop too much. But they plan to have cats (listed in the "dog food" category).

Connie,
What a coincidence. I'm feeling green and moldy, and am not getting anything done.

# posted by

Woofwoof : 03 April, 2006 00:34

Could you send some of that rain our way? We're dried to crisp over here in Florida.

# posted by

HanktheDog : 03 April, 2006 20:13

Huh.

Our sunny day lasts from about 5am to about 9pm now.

(counts this as piling on)

# posted by

John : 04 April, 2006 19:41

Hank,
Let's build a pipeline. You can have all of our water. Right now we have a one-day respite. Rain is supposed to come back tomorrow.

John,
Hehe, that Sun will just widen your ozone hole.

Oslo my rakfisk connoisseur,
YGM.

# posted by

Woofwoof : 08 April, 2006 10:49

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