Sunday, March 12, 2006
The True Path of EvolutionUnless you never went to school or are a television evangelist like Pat Robertson (or both), you probably grew up learning that from amoeba evolved fish which later became amphibians, then reptiles, then monkeys and finally man. Somewhere in there we ended up with George W. Bush and Angelina Jolie, but it was not exactly clear how. The basic idea in this theory is that creatures went from zero legs to four legs then back to two. The illogic of this sequence has never been explained. People were too busy debating things like creationism and intelligent design, and ignored the real issue. Mostly they were happy to think that man (or usually woman) came out on top of the food chain -- a very human-centric and probably wrong vision, of course, but it suited them just fine.
Well now there is new, contradictory evidence. British and Turkish scientists recently discovered a Kurdish family in a remote corner of southern Turkey who can walk naturally only on all fours. The five brothers and sisters, age 18 to 34, can stand up on two legs but only for a short time, with both knees and head flexed. They typically move on two palms and two feet, but rather than walking on their knuckles like chimpanzees and gorillas, they use their palms like heels with fingers angled up from the ground. The scientists believe that this behavior allows them to protect their fingers for more delicate and dextrous activities so important to mankind.
While the scientists are continuing their studies, I think that this finding provides the critical missing link needed to resolve the two-legs vs four-legs puzzle. The two-legs phase was really a failed, temporary experiment of nature, and things are now returning to the four-legs standard. The complete evolution flow turns out to be amoeba-fish-amphibian-reptile-monkey-man-dog, and this family in Turkey is in the final step of making the ultimate transition from man to dog. First they change the way they walk, pretty soon they will be scratching themselves with their rear legs, sniffing each other's butts, and they will start barking and howling like dogs do. It is dog, not man, that frolics happily at the apex of the evolution race.
Remember that you read it here first. By the way, I would like to be known from this point on as Charles Darwoof. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a school board meeting to go to...
- posted by Woofwoof @ 5:42 AM
Comments:
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This is too much! Every week I say this is the best post yet, and it keeps getting better. Really, this post **is** the best ever.
# posted by 
: 12 March, 2006 07:41
: 12 March, 2006 07:41
Is this for real? Not the dog is king thing, but the family in Turkey?
# posted by : 12 March, 2006 09:38
: 12 March, 2006 09:38
Connecticut,
Thanks. Arghh, I can't take the pressure. When do you start your blog? If you don't, I'll compile a collection of your comments and publish it.
Leslie,
It's Sir Charles Darwoof, Supreme Knight of the Dog Queen to you. :)
Anon,
Yes of course it's for real. Why would anybody make this up? The dog-is-king thing is real too.
Turbo,
Thank you. I'll put on a bright light bulb just for you.
John,
I don't know. But if you feel a strong urge to take your husky out sledding, there might be some hope.
Thanks. Arghh, I can't take the pressure. When do you start your blog? If you don't, I'll compile a collection of your comments and publish it.
Leslie,
It's Sir Charles Darwoof, Supreme Knight of the Dog Queen to you. :)
Anon,
Yes of course it's for real. Why would anybody make this up? The dog-is-king thing is real too.
Turbo,
Thank you. I'll put on a bright light bulb just for you.
John,
I don't know. But if you feel a strong urge to take your husky out sledding, there might be some hope.
Sniffing the old butts will be the key gate for humans to pass before they can claim victory.
You know I hear humans do some things doggy style, but that's just the word from the kennel out at the farm I went to last year.
Say yeah!
Cal
You know I hear humans do some things doggy style, but that's just the word from the kennel out at the farm I went to last year.
Say yeah!
Cal
Hi!
I'm wondering if you'd like to trade links with my dog blog!
http://www.toaireisdivine.com
Please let me know and I'll put up a link to yours asap!
Bogart Handsome Devil
I'm wondering if you'd like to trade links with my dog blog!
http://www.toaireisdivine.com
Please let me know and I'll put up a link to yours asap!
Bogart Handsome Devil
Indy,
I saw the picture. Some people will do anything to bring dogs down to their level.
Cal,
Doggy things?! Just look at how happy they are when copying dogs. That says it all.
Raisa,
I did write a book, but some dumb dog ate the manuscript. That's why it's now in a blog.
Bpgart,
Woof! Added your link.
I saw the picture. Some people will do anything to bring dogs down to their level.
Cal,
Doggy things?! Just look at how happy they are when copying dogs. That says it all.
Raisa,
I did write a book, but some dumb dog ate the manuscript. That's why it's now in a blog.
Bpgart,
Woof! Added your link.
When islam takes over a country dogs are summarily put to death because the koran says they are unclean (I read about it at Infidel Bloggers Aliance http://ibloga.blogspot.com/ if you don't believe me...)
So them people in Turkey better watch it or the moslems will kill them too.
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So them people in Turkey better watch it or the moslems will kill them too.
# posted by : 02 April, 2006 17:45
: 02 April, 2006 17:45<< Home
