Chin Yui Yat Sang (Theme song from the movie "The Killer" (1989) directed by John Woo) - Sally Yeh
If dogs could speak...
Sunday, December 18, 2005
 
Revenge of the Bird
Another day another boycott. People are strange, not cool and in-control like us dogs.

Over 100 people from 12 countries worked for more than a month to place 4.3 million dominoes in a chain so they can be knocked down in Guinness World Record style. I know it sounds terribly boring, but that really happened last month in the Netherlands where apparently not much else goes on (except in Amsterdam, but that's like another world). I am sure that sort of thing would appeal to Alaskans too, except they don't have 100 people and they are always busy building bridges instead of dominoes. A year ago the same Dutch group already got the official record with 4.0 million dominoes, but they wanted to try again for a better record. Most of us don't know, but domino toppling competition is intense.

But more drama and tragedy was yet to come. With only 200,000 pieces to go, a small bird flew into the room and caused 23,000 of them to crash prematurely. It could have been worse, but fortunately gaps were intentionally inserted into the chain to interrupt accidental demolition like this. The event organizers got upset and brought in an exterminator who promptly shot the bird dead. The little house sparrow turned out to be an endangered species, and animal rights and bird protection groups were even more outraged. They called for a boycott of the television company Endemol NV which sponsored the event. The exterminator received death threats. A ceremony broadcast on live TV to commemorate the bird attracted nationwide attention. And of course, a web site was set up -- as you know, there is a web site for everything, but this one managed to collect thus far over half a million visits and many thousands of condolence messages. All of this is still continuing. Maybe the Queen will lead an investigation commision next, looking for the hidden grassy knoll.

Which brings me to my confession today. I was sleeping yesterday when a fly was buzzing around my fluffy tail and woke me up, so I snapped at him with lightning-quick Siberian Husky reflex. I accidentally trapped him in my mouth and spat him out right away, but he was already woozy and died a few minutes later. I dug a small hole and buried him. I hope anyone who witnessed the incident would keep quiet, and not write about it in some dumb blog. I don't need a presidential inquiry into why and how I killed a fly.

Comments:
You are too funny Woofwoof. How did the fly taste? Probably worse than a bird would have.
 
Hey, who said you have a fluffy tail?
 
Now you can't use that excuse: "He is so nice he wouldn't hurt a fly."
 
Wow. That's 43,000 dominos per person. But, you know, bald eagle tastes just like chicken.
 
I'm a fan of flies, Woofwoof. I just swallow them down so there's no evidence. Or at least none that anyone would care to uncover.
 
Connecticut,
It probably would have tasted better with hollandaise sauce. Or ketchup.

Anon,
Some things are just too personal.

John,
It was temporary insanity.
43,000 dominoes (you say dominos, I say dominoes) per person, or 1400 per person per day assuming they work every day during that month. Still mind boggling. That's what I thought. There is not much to do in the Netherlands.

Hank,
I don't like things that buzz while I'm sleeping. I try to swat the flies with my tail, but I think cows do it better.
 
Oh WoofWoof - you do find the most bizarre and interesting news stories!
 
Indy.
Thanks. There are a thousand and one stories in the city every night, and most of them amuse me. I would blog about them all, except that a Husky has to eat, sleep, play, run and kill flies.
 
Too funny. Does your dog know you are blogging about him?
 
Michelle,
But of course. He talks I type. And he bites when I misspelll. Ouch!
 
Post a Comment

<< Home


Powered by Blogger

Back to Top