Saturday, December 17, 2005
Feel the BurnFood must be abundant on our planet Earth. First it's Americans who are obese, then Europeans, next comes Maggie the elephant in Anchorage, Alaska that needs to get on the treadmill. Now even penguins in Japan must be put on exercise routines to lose weight.
That's right -- king penguins at Asahiyama Zoo in Hokkaido, northern Japan, are getting so chubby that their keepers are taking them on 500-yard forced marches twice a day. Even then, the penguins are claiming that the webs under their silly-looking feet are so delicate that they can walk only on snow, so that limits their exercise season to the period from December until April. The rest of the year, they just snooze and get fat. Such a bunch of lazy slobs, unlike us sled dogs. These boys are pigs. P.I.G.S.
Their exercise consists mainly of that ungainly side to side waddle, hardly enough to break a sweat. Some of the penguins even belly-flop and slide on the snow to avoid walking. And there is nothing to tone those flabby little arm-wings. As a svelte Siberian Husky myself, I have several recommendations: First make those tuxedo bodies watch that movie "March of the Penguins." If these guys understand what it's like to walk single-file 70 miles in minus 100 degree mind-numbing cold just to breed, maybe they'll be a little more motivated to earn their sushi. Or have them come to Alaska and watch us run in the Yukon Quest or the Iditarod, so they appreciate what real canine athletes do for fun.
And if after all of that, the penguins still refuse to shape up, I think we should send Richard Simmons over there to teach them. I bet Richard loves penguins.
- posted by Woofwoof @ 5:50 AM
Comments:
<< Home
I'm not sure why this is a story. We've been exploiting hamsters for years by making them run nowhere! Hey . . . a hamster Ididarod . . . (furiously scribbling)
John,
There is no story here. I was looking for an excuse to talk about Richard Simmons. Does he like penguins?
There is no story here. I was looking for an excuse to talk about Richard Simmons. Does he like penguins?
I definitely can see why penguins would walk 70 miles in sub-freezing weather to breed. Men!
# posted by 
: 18 December, 2005 10:22
: 18 December, 2005 10:22
Connecticut,
It's the urge. The 70-mile walk is fine. But the sub-freezing temp can be a problem. Things just don't work right when it's that cold.
Post a Comment
It's the urge. The 70-mile walk is fine. But the sub-freezing temp can be a problem. Things just don't work right when it's that cold.
<< Home
